Sometimes, I fear. I fear too much of everything. People, Feelings, Dreams and many things. No, I am not weak. It’s just a bad phase. And I know I am strong enough to overcome this killing depression. I still smile.
I am a kind of girl who stays happy, and then at the very next moment, turn despondent. A bit complicated to understand. I am generally so conscious of letting out myself, but today I am not afraid of peoples’ criticism or judgements. I want to write about myself.
People. I can’t trust people easily. At times, if I like someone, it becomes difficult for me to have faith and I keep warning myself. I don’t like people much. I am a kind of introvert and I have always enjoyed my own company. It may be due to the instances I have experienced in my past. It’s perplexing to understand me at times, even I can’t analyze myself. I am hard as adamant and tender as bosom. Sometimes, a feel haunts me that a day will come when there’ll be no one standing by my side due to my obstinate and egoistic behavior. I have a couple of friends who love me a lot. They have always seen my darkest and evil sides and yet they make me feel so special every time I feel low.
Feelings. I have been always so emotionally sensitive. I could easily be overjoyed. On the other hand, I get easily angry or devastating. My feelings dominate my mind badly. I feel, I need to gain control over my emotional state, be more rational. I should learn to manage feelings. Having feelings is natural but sometimes, being touchy over little things gets frustrating.
Dreams. I’m scared. Of what I have dreamt. I am so enthusiastic about my dreams. But, at times, it really gets so difficult for us to take the responsibility of our words and to follow them with consistency. At night, the mind gets numb while ruminating around those heart pricking thoughts and bear their burden. I see my dreams shattered. The circumstances lead me to fear. I just search for a hope, a hope for revival. But as quoted,
Don’t ever let someone take your head out of the clouds. Dream big and dream passionately.
I ask myself, why to get afraid and of whom? Great things always take time. All they require efforts and patience. Eventually, good days will come. After all, difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. I am going to make it happen. I have to set my soul into fire and never quit.